Ashley May

The Death of a Circus and a Life in the Making

The circus closed, and her legs opened

Birthing a pre-existing sideshow

People gape in horror of the sight

Of a young-faced mother-to-be

Eyes transfixed on her midsection

Spewing words of scorn or mockery

She looks down to evade their gazes

And drowns in a sea of touching hands

 

After 146 years, the Ringling Brothers closed their doors, essentially ending the circus. My final project, while an homage to the history of the circus, is more of a manifestation of my psychological state. Ever since my pregnancy has become noticeable, I’ve felt like a walking sideshow attraction. People stare. They can’t make eye contact, as they’re too distracted by my belly. The rules of courtesy no longer seem to apply; people make comments on my size every day. I’ve always struggled deeply with body image, and having people tell me that I’m fat, huge, or “getting big” is torture.

I decided to create a modern-day side show. I want to create oddities of which to take photos. This will be accomplished through makeup, props, and masking layers on Photoshop. I intend to make a series that depicts manufactured, unusual, stand-out physical attributes, while showing the human underneath. When gawked at, people say “take a picture-- it’ll last longer”. I’ll do just that. I hope that my project stirs up curiosity, yet honors the beauty of the individual.